One of my favorite questions to ask lay people attending my workshops is, “What made you choose this church?” If the person has made a church change in the last few years, I will ask followup questions. I want to get into the mind of church shoppers. I also want the other people at the workshop to hear the factors that real people are weighing as they choose a place to worship. We live in a religious free market. People are no longer required to remain in their parent’s parish and most Christians have one or more occasions to truly church shop.
After winnowing out the family and friends factors in church choice, I’ve come down to three questions that I think church shoppers are serious about:
- Can this fellowship and its clergy be trusted to accept me and/or care for my family? Life is messy. I don’t want to attend a church that will forget about me if I am incapacitated by illness. Will this congregation respond in the right way towards my autistic child or be supportive of my need to travel frequently? One person said that they are politically active and visited several churches before they found one that they could trust to understand the passion they felt about their cause. Tolerance for the unusual is getting to be a real factor in church choice.
- Is worship above average? We often think people are looking for the best preacher or the most rocking praise band. Actually, they just want their weekly experience to be better than most. Will the pastor have something relevant to say week after week? Will the prayer, music, and liturgy be done in a way that is authentic and uplifting?
- Will worship and church events take place at times that are convenient for me? People are no longer willing to plan their lives around church. They look for a church that will fit into their lives. Communicating upcoming events is important. Some people get the impression that a church doesn’t do much because when they look at the bulletin every item is abbreviated, written in Greek, or missing information that a stranger needs to know. Few churches make efficient use of the internet as a way to keep people informed.
Not surprising to me, all of these questions relate to my simple definition of church:
Church is a gathering of people for prayer, study, and worship, who relate to each other and to the world as Christ desires.
(See Reality Check 101 – chapter 1)
People want to know if this particular congregation can be Church for them. Will is relate with them and their family in a loving Christ-like way? Will the worship, prayer, and study meet thier needs? Will the worship, events, and opportunities to serve, be at times that they can really be a part of?