“Never attribute to malevolence that which is merely due to incompetence.”
– Arthur C. Clarke (3001: The Final Odyssey)
I take Arthur C. Clarke’s words seriously. Conflicts are rarely resolved by one person publicly denouncing another as evil. It’s tempting to imagine the trustee who is shooting down our pet project to be a machiavellian villain with an elaborate plan to do us harm. Such things happen in movies, but rarely in real life. Actually we are all, to some degree, incompetent at relating with others and working together as a team. Further, people rarely stir up controversy just because it gives them sadistic joy. Instead, they incompetently stumble into situations where they break things, hurting others as they hurt themselves. The things they break might be extremely valuable or beautiful, like the loving spirit of fellowship that once was palpably present in your church. If we respond to their incompetence poorly, if we betray our commitment to always act out of the love of Jesus, then things will spiral out of control. No, I do not believe that the devil seeds congregations with conflict in order to foil God’s glory. I believe that, in the words of Pogo, “the enemy is us.” We all take short cuts. We follow our gut. In our mutual incompetence, we fail “to seek to understand, rather than to be understood”, if I may quote St. Francis.*
Jesus calls us to build healthy relationships while we build the church. This dual mission requires every disciple to seek to understand others first, before we disparage their ideas or lifestyle. Further he warns us to never demonize another person.
…anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.
– Matthew 5:22-23
This commandment also applies to politicians and the cult-like cliques that invite us to join.